Norq From Ork

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who grew up at an alarming speed.  All of a sudden he was 17 and his mum didn’t know how it happened.  17 meant he could learn to drive, so on his birthday, he posed for the obligatory holding the car keys and L plates photos then went for his first lesson with his stepdad who was much more patient at than sort of thing than his mum.

He started driving and was doing well.  A few lessons in he, applied to take his theory test.  He couldn’t do his practical until he’d passed his theory test, but passing proved tricky.  He had a few goes and every time he failed he had to rebook.  The next one was always at least a month away because he lived on the island of Orkney which is quite remote and there aren’t always a ton of available theory test spaces. His mum talked to God and said ‘please help him to pass his theory test.  The boy is trying so hard, and also it’s getting expensive’ He persevered and eventually after studying and studying and trying and trying, he passed.  Now he could book his practical.  Everyone thought he had a much better chance of passing his practical driving test because he’s just made that way.  But his mum warned him not to be too disappointed if he failed first time, it was very common to fail first time. (but she secretly really wanted him to pass because he’d already had so much disappointment)

His test date came up, and his mum went off to work and wished him luck.  He’d had lots of driving practice and had as good a chance as any of passing. Just before he was due to be collected for his lesson something terrible happened.  His instructor called to say her car had just gone on fire.  Yes that’s right, the car he was due to take his test in was on fire!  So now he had nothing to sit his test in and the poor instructor had no car.  Everyone said to each other ‘what are the chances?!’ But of course that didn’t solve anything.

His mum had an automatic car so no point taking a test in that as he’d only have to re-sit it. His stepdad had a car but it was new and the best car he’d ever bought.  He’d only had it a month and it was way bigger than the car the boy had learned to drive in.  There was absolutely no way he could be insured to drive it said the dad and there was definitely no way he could sit a test in a car he’d never driven and pass first time.  So, that was decided.  The stepdad would absolutely, definitely NOT insure the boy on his precious new car.  The boy was just going to have to rebook his test for another time.

The thing about the stepdad, is that he’s a big old softie.  He always does kind things like weaken and insure the boy on his precious new car.

So now the boy was insured to drive his stepdad’s precious new – much bigger than he’d learned to drive in – car (for 4 days only because it was precious after all) and his test was just over an hour away.  So the boy had a bit of time to practice with the instructor in the front and the stepdad in the back.  The stepdad text the mum and said he was sitting in the back of his precious new car.  The mum text back and said ‘well that’ll get you talking to God won’t it?’ and the mum thought it was funny but she was secretly nervous and actually talked to God herself and said ‘Dear God, please don’t let him scratch the stepdad’s precious new car and also please can the boy pass his test even though he’s never driven it before because it would make quite a story and save any further grief and disappointment’

So the boy went off to take his test in his stepdad’s precious new car and the dad went for a coffee and felt nervous.  Before too long the boy returned with the stepdad’s precious new car.  The boy had a big smile on his face.  The boy had passed.  That’s right, he passed his driving test first time in a car he’d never driven before.  Everyone was over the moon, everyone said ‘what are the chances?!’ 

The mum was incredibly proud.

But secretly she was a tiny bit terrified.

The beginning……