*Sounds aging mother facing up to growing up kids and looking back on 25 years parenting gushing tripe klaxon*
Don’t say I didn’t warn you….
A few weeks ago I managed to tug at the heartstrings with my post The Empty(ing) Nest and I’m possibly like to tug at them again. As I type I am just a few hours away from no longer being the mother of children. My dear son, known on here as Tech Support will be 18 and I will now be the mother of two adults. It’s a funny time of life for me as there seems to be a lot of big changes including a shift in my role and purpose making more sentimental and pensive than usual. (is that even possible you ask?)
25 years ago I was pregnant with my first, Miss Lashes and since then the last quarter decade my non-exhaustive list has looked something like this….. changing nappies, wiping noses, drying tears, reading stories, curing hiccups, cooking meals, cleaning up sick, driving to hospital, wrapping presents, holding hands, listening, talking, laughing, crying, pushing pushchairs, in and out of car seats, washing, washing, washing, parents evening, two more sleeps, getting it wrong, orthodontists, church, sunday school, parties, nightmares, singing, dance school, ballet, work, BB’s, Santa, grazed knees, fancy dress costumes, homework, school plays, loneliness, sledging, feed the ducks, don’t touch, meningitis, appendix, temperatures, swimming, this club, that club, no you can’t, yes you can, chicken for tea, stop fighting, I love you, I will always love you, three more mouthfuls, night, night, be careful, phone me, driving lessons, fear, well done, it’ll look better in the morning, guilt, pride, fear, love, love, love.
‘You’d be greetin’ if he wasn’t leaving home’ Said Orkney Beef as I stood in the bedroom with tears in my eyes contemplating the enormous shift in my life that we are on the cusp of. True, if he was unable to leave home or had no intention of moving on I’d be equally upset. But for now, allow me this moment to look back on what feels like a lifetime of parenting, give thanks for where I’ve got it right, apologize for when I’ve got it wrong, not take all the credit, and not take all the blame.
Happy Birthday Tech Support and thank you for 18 wonderful years being the parent of a little boy, who suddenly became a man.
It’s been a different My Week In Pictures this week, I’m sure you understand why. Anyone who’s survived the emptying nest, please feel free to message me and give me your tips.
Have a great week.
Norq From Ork 
I can’t even deal with thinking about all this…..lots of love and hugs from across the firth. On the up side though Sarah look at the stellar job you have done!
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Thanks Nicola. Like I say, I can’t take all the credit and I can’t take all the blame. X
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What a great post, great tribute to your kids! My daughter has spent the last days with in Austria. Upon returning with us today to our house and a quick coffee, she got in her car and drove downtown to her own apartment. I hated it. I’m still getting used to our emptying nest. Tough business….Happy Easter to you, Sarah! Marcus
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Happy Easter Marcus. And yes it takes a lot of getting used to.
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I still struggle if I go to Waitrose as I feel this overwhelming desire to park in the spaces that say ‘parents with children’ as I will always be a parent with children even if the youngest is now 20!
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I totally agree. I’ve been known to say ‘well I’ve got you with me and your my child’ even when he’s way taller and hairier than me!
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Your children are absolutely beautiful.
This transition will be different, but fine. Not only will your young adults learn more about what they want in life, during this phase, you will become a new Sarah, too. You will have more time for your own pursuits and friends. And your young adults will be your friends, too. They will still need you from time to time, but overall, you can stand back and watch the fruits of your life’s love and labor, as they grow into contributing community members. Be proud, you have raised 2 responsible and independent adults.
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Annie what a lovely and encouraging message. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Yes I’m embracing the fact I will have more time to pursue my own things. Every cloud has a silver lining.
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It’s the lack of noise that presses down so hard on your skin that it makes the tears fall out of your eyes. After what seems like forever, you do manage to find a new normal and life’s not so bad. Then, they come home again, either for recess or possibly a bit longer, and you’ll wonder what all that greetin’ was about.
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Indeed, I’m learning to embrace the good things like extra time and freedom to do other things and allow myself to grieve the losses as a season ends and a new one begins. Thanks for stopping by to comment.
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Sarah, just don’t think you have finished with the mothering lark. I had nearly 40 year old single but likes it that way, son home for the long Easter weekend. He came with 3 washer loads of clothes and bedding. I said he could bring it with him as his washer in London has packed in and his landlord isn’t getting if fixed in a hurry, if at all. It was foul weather so thank the lord for a de humidifier and warm radiators. He managed to spill red wine on the tablecloth on Sunday so that made another wash load for me to do. So…. don’t think tech support won’t need his mumma, he always will but we can now be friends rather than a nagging mother. Just enjoy getting to know Orkney Beef again and pursue your hobbies and free time until he comes home with his washing, lol.
Regards Beverley
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Hi Beverley, I’m looking forward to positive changes. I came home to him doing his own laundry. Long may that reign! Thank you for taking the time to share your story. It helps to know many mothers have walked this path and survived x
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