If Facebook was real life

If Facebook was real life

  • I’d over hear two people I vaguely know talking, and if it made me laugh I would walk up to them, stick my thumb up and say ‘I like this’
  • I’d walk into shops and shout I LIKE YOUR STUFF then tell other people I like their stuff in the hopes of winning some of their stuff.  Then I would quickly forget I liked their stuff and probably never look at their stuff again.
  • If I saw someone’s photos lying around I’d flick through them. After seeing 250 of someone’s wedding pics I’d eventually realise I vaguely knew one person who attended the wedding.
  • I’d walk around in a cardboard box showing only my face, because that bit of me is all right, it’s the rest of me could use some work.
  • I wouldn’t believe your children had started a new term at school unless you showed me a picture of them standing next to the front door in their uniform.
  • I’d stand outside the gym and ask people ‘did you have a good work out today? tell me about it’
  • #I #would #speak #in #hashtags #all #day #in #the #hope #of #finding #someone #who #is #talking #about #the #same #topic
  •   I’d walk into a room full of people, speak some cryptic message like ‘someone has really upset me today’ then walk out leaving you all trying to work out which one of you it was. 
  • I’d invite you to play every game I ever play until you cried.
  • If you showed me a magazine article you liked I’d take the article and show it to my friends too, and they would show it to their friends and so on until everyone had seen the article several times a day.
  • I’d tell you what I had for dinner, I might even show you a photograph if you’re lucky.
  • I wouldn’t believe you’d finished your dissertation until you showed me a picture of you holding it.
  • I’d tip my head sideways to smile at you 🙂
  • Someone would need to follow me around saying ‘it’s their birthday’ when I see someone I know, then I would wish you a happy birthday.
  • I’d film myself giving money away so everyone could see how humble I am.
  • I would follow every statement I made with a suitable face and describe how I feel about it.
  • I’d insist on telling you what I said a year ago today, maybe show you photos I  took last year too.
  • Then the following year I’d do the same.
  • Until eventually I’d never have to write a Facebook status again
  • But Facebook is not real life; so you’re safe from all that.

Don’t forget to like this post if you like this post.  I honestly like that you like my writing. *feeling amused*

 

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4 thoughts on “If Facebook was real life

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