Norq From Ork

I bought something in a size zero today.  No really, it’s TRUE!  I was standing in the shop and the lady definitely said ‘I think you need a size  zero’  I smiled to myself.  I’d never heard those words before  and it was a pity no one was around to over hear it, but unfortunately is was just one of those rubber things that you put on the end of your finger for counting money or large sets of papers. (for reference, they are called thimblettes I discovered today.  Every day’s a school day.) They come in different sizes and apparently my pointy finger is a size zero.  The rest of me somewhat bigger.  Dash that, but a girl can dream. I’ve never actually owned size zero clothes but I do own a wardrobe of varying sizes according to where I am in my healthy eating efforts.

Three years ago I dropped my daughter off at uni and joked that I needed to start my ‘graduation diet’ ready for the photos when she completes her degree. Now I have one year to go before she graduates and I still need to lose the weight plus another half a stone. Anyone out there feel my pain?

I’ve done many a healthy eating plan  diet.  I’ve lost several stones in weight; unfortunately it’s  been the same stone lost and regained over and over again. I could pass any theory test known to man.  Eat less, move more;  it’s just the practical I struggle with.

If money were no object I would pay someone to follow me around and rugby tackle me to the floor and snatch the food away every time I went to eat something unhealthy.  The only thing is, if it were chocolate I think I would put up a good fight.  It would be like the Hunger Games with a difference.  Basically I would employ them but when they tried to carry out their duties I would sack them instantly. In short, your money is safe with me, even your crisps but I would hide your choccies if I’m around. I don’t smoke, it’s not my vice.  But at least smokers are given a fighting chance by having the ciggies hidden away in the shops now.  Why cant that be done with chocolate?

‘you’re fine, you have a pretty face’  said a kind lady recently as we bemoaned our need to lose some weight.  Thank you.  But it’s impractical to go around wearing a cardboard box with only my face on show.

Maybe a need one of those cone things that dogs wear following operations.

Anyway, this is familiar territory, I’ve been here many times before. I will no doubt get my head in the game and out of the chocolate fountain to try again; and when I’ve lost something significant, you’ll be the first to hear about it. 🙂