Grief is the price we pay for love
Queen Elizabeth II
Over the last week I’ve heard terrible news stories from all over the world, closer to home and recently I’ve been greatly saddened by news of the untimely deaths of people I know, knew or know of. Sometimes it doesn’t feel right to be funny, sometimes we just need to be sad for a while.
I lost a brother in sudden and tragic circumstances nearly 8 years ago; so know only too well that the rug can be pulled from under you at any given time leaving you hopeless, helpless and wondering if you will ever smile again.
The world stands still for you yet life carries on for everyone else. You wonder if you might drown in grief, your skin feels raw to touch, you are in deep shock, you still need to eat, shop, fill up the car, wash your clothes, yet the even the most basic of functions seem over whelming. You know there’s no way out of the tunnel other than going through, your head hurts from crying, you wonder if you will ever find normal again. You read and re read all your emails and messages from them. You talk to them even though they are not in the room. But they are somewhere and talking to them helps.
Then you realise weeks later you’ve suddenly gone a day without crying and you cry again.
Then you go two or maybe three days without crying and you feel guilty.
The days between tears stretch further
Then you realise you can smile again and it’s ok. It doesn’t lessen the tragedy, it allows you to go on living.
If you’re grieving right now then be kind to yourself. You can do this.