Spelling it out

Could you spell that for me please?

Yes it’s N O R Q U O Y

so thats N A R

No N R

So that’s N O R K

No its N O R Q

So it’s N O R Q U E


For those of you who haven’t worked it out yet, the name Norq from Ork comes from the fact I’m a Norquoy living in Orkney.  I had never heard of the  surname until I moved here and once I married and took on the surname, I knew I would spend the rest of my life having to spell it. Most people south of Orkney struggle to pronounce it (including me according to our Best Man).  This has an upside as when we get nuisance phone calls I can say with absolute honesty that  no, there isn’t a Mrs Norky living here.

Another struggle when dealing with long distance phone calls is this……

The biffs generally have no idea where Orkney is!

I’ve had similar phone calls like the one below on more than one occasion when I’ve had to phone about something I’ve bought online.  The conversation went something like this

Hi I bought a dress on line and when it arrived it still had the security tag on it.

That’s strange, I wonder how it managed to leave the shop without setting off the  alarm.

I didn’t buy it in a shop, I live in Orkney which is an island off the top of Scotland, I bought it online

and it had the security tag left on it you say?


Can you pop it into your nearest shop with the receipt and someone will take the tag off for you.

I live in Orkney, I don’t have a branch of your shop

So you’re saying there isn’t a local branch nearby?

No, I live in Orkney, it’s an island off the top of Scotland.

and are you able to get to a shop at all?

Not without getting on a  boat or plane.

and there’s no nearby shop you say?

Oh my heck.  Someone help me please!

Last week I had a phone call which combined BOTH of these struggles.  I can feel myself turning into Basil Fawlty as I repeatedly try to explain that I live in Orkney which IS  in the UK, no there isn’t a shop nearby and yes it’s fully functioning with hot and cold running water, electricity, job centres, libraries and postage is the same as anywhere else in the UK, or at least should be.  Don’t get me started……

Anyway after about fifteen quids worth of phone time I usually manage to get the tag taken off the dress, get my refund or deal with all such other enquiries before I retreat wearily ready to try again another day.

Mrs ‘Norky’, still trying to put ‘Orky’ on the map.



Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net




4 thoughts on “Spelling it out

  1. LOL! When I was a Deans, people would drop the s. Now I’m a Jenkinson, most people respond with “Mrs Jenkins”. I think it’s an indication of how little people really listen in this busy world. It’s not just you – if that’s any help. 🙂 What’s a “biff” ?


  2. I agree about people not really listening and to be honest there’s often so much back ground noise too if in call centre type places. This has been shared 62 times so I realise I’m not alone here lol! A biff is probably the same as a numpty. I would say ‘no you biff it’s over there’ to my husband. 🙂


  3. And this is before you start on your address (which will be similar to ours). “Sorry, can you say that again? Do you not have a street or house number?” And so on.


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