How to have a happy marriage

We have decided to test the strength of our marriage in two ways today.

Test One

We have started decorating the sitting room.  Quite frankly I hope we both come out of this alive.  I’m not a huge fan of decorating and tend to put it off and put it off.  The worst part is the prep and while Orkney Beef took the polystyrene ceiling off (yes really! from the 70’s I think and probably all the rage in its time)  My job was to box all the miscellaneous ‘stuff’ Part of me wants to drive the whole lot to the skip and just be minimalist. Less things to dust after all.

Orkney Beef quite enjoys decorating (he’s stripping wallpaper as we speak) but the problem starts when he tries to engage me in it.  He once spent the afternoon trying to teach me to hang wallpaper and it ended up like a scene from Laurel and Hardy.  I’ve never wallpapered in my life and I have no intention of doing it either. I would rather pay someone else to do it.

A sympathetic ear on Twitter suggested her home decorating with her husband generally went better when they were in different rooms.  I said better still if the rooms were in different houses.  I’m sure it will all be worth it in the end, but not gonna lie, 9 hours out of the house tomorrow where I can’t get in the way or get roped into doing things is fine by me!

Test Two

Orkney Beef is a keen cyclist.  I haven’t ridden a bike in years………..until tonight.

I finally weakened after much suggesting from him and we bought a cheap second-hand bike for me to  ‘get under way with’. After a few tips we set for off side by side down the track road from our house.

There’s a pothole. MOVE! I screeched.  I didn’t want to end up falling off the bike before we even left the drive.

He is very insistent that we cycle responsibly so I wore my helmet and also a scarf to make sure the flies stayed out my mouth while I barked orders and puffed.

Orkney Beef is actually very encouraging and cycled along side me making sure I was ok with the gears and could manage the hills. (Gears yes, hills, less so) Anyway after puffing my way up hill, grunting and groaning with the effort we rounded the corner onto the flat.

The important thing is to enjoy yourself and have fun he said.  Are you having fun?

It’s probably just as well I was too unfit to speak at that point in time.

I’ll keep you posted……

It’s been a while……




5 thoughts on “How to have a happy marriage

  1. You look like the cycling equivalent of a highway man! Stand and wallpaper your money or your wife….or something like that a few years since I’ve heard the Adam and the Ants song!


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