Man V Dog

If you want to test the level of your patience and sanity or strength of your marriage try doing what we did this week.

Day One

Decide the dog needs her worming tablet. Having seen the vet administer it seamlessly and quickly many times, decide you can do the same by copying what they do.
Make this decision to administer the tablet just before heading out to a fancy dress party and think, ‘oh it’ll be fine’
Ask Orkney Beef to hold the dog in his lap while you administer worming tablet like the vet does.
Realise you are not a vet.
Pick up spat out worming tablet and re administer it like the vet does. Stroke dogs throat while mouth is closed while telling husband this is how the vet does it.
Repeat previous stage several times before realise you are now running late for the fancy dress party and your fancy dress bun is coming out having spent ages wrestling with dog.
Give up and drop the tablet into the dog bowl hoping she will think it’s food and eat it accidentally. After all, the dog will eat anything, and I mean an-y-thing so this shouldn’t be too big a challenge right?

Day Two

Decide to trick dog at feeding time by giving regular food with tablet mixed in. She will never notice and just vacuum the whole thing in seconds.
Return to find this. Dog has eaten meal in seconds and managed to single out the one item that was a worming tablet. True story!

Day Three

Hide tablet in a piece of sausage. Pretend to dog that she is getting the mother of all treats so she practically begs for it. Watch dog eat the sausage with worming tablet hidden in it and feel smug that it’s only taken three days to give one minuscule tablet.

Final score:

Man (eventually) 1

Dog 0

(This method also works with cats, but you could also try getting the cat in the box when it’s time for puss to go to the vet. As all all four legs go in different directions you some how need to get them in the cat carrier and close the door or lid whilst maintaining your composure, hairstyle, and sanity . If you can somehow do that you’ve nailed it. Well done.)