The universe decided to bring me down a peg or two this morning. Usually, I walk early in the morning before work, but on a Saturday off I can leave it to later on and have a cheeky lie in. Besides, it had been raining when I woke up and there was a chance things might improve later on which they did.
I’d just spoken to a couple of friends on Twitter who had both been put off their exercise routines for the day because of miserable weather. I told them it was lovely now and I was just off for a walk. I had no idea how smug I sounded until later on. But readers, pride comes before an epic fall. We’ll come to that later.
As it was the weekend and I had more time on my hands I decided to up my game and walk further. I downloaded a few podcasts to listen to and on seeing how sunny it was outside I decided on lightweight high viz and my waterproof breeks were cast aside with joyful abandon. Off I set, striding out, and listening to my various post cast choices. I bumped into neighbors and passed the time of day before continuing on my journey, the sun was shining, the dog was happy and I was full of the potential of Spring just around the corner.
I arrived at my destination which was about half a mile past the church pictured. The dog ran along the beach and I surveyed the damage from the storms earlier in the week. Mainly in the form of tons of seaweed mountains washed in with giant waves and litter strewn everywhere, a ton of plastic vomited up by the sea. I started to make my way back up the road and the heavens opened soaking me within seconds with icy cold rain. I was in the middle of nowhere, frozen to the very core, water dripping off my hair, shivering, miserable and on the verge of tears. Admitting defeat I went to call Orkney Beef and ask him to come and pick me up and to my horror there was no signal. Not even the tiniest glimmer of half a bar. Absolute zilch. All I had to take my mind off things was a podcast and guess what I was listening to?
‘The benefits of walking’
Honestly you couldn’t make this stuff up could you?
After the hailstorm eased off I trudged back up the road, legs raw with cold, teeth chattering, hair dripping wet and made straight for a hot shower. Several hours later I still haven’t warmed up.
Dear Mr Benefits of Walking, I’m going to be producing a podcast on the benefits of sitting by the fire with a blanket, hot chocolate, and book. It’s far more beneficial; even the dog agrees.