Dear Orkney There appears to be a dreadful misunderstanding. I refer to my earlier letter to you written on March 7th 2016. See here. In my previous letter I thanked you for the end of winter, being able to peg out washing, do some gardening and not needing to resort to chocolate. I sang your praises … More Dear Orkney (part 2)
The chickens are running riot. I’m having all manner of trouble with them and thinking of showing them a packet of bread sauce as a severe warning. They keep finding their way over the wall into next doors garden and after having to round them up before work a few weeks ago in best clothes and heels I … More Three chickens for sale!
middle age noun the period after early adulthood and before old age, about 45 to 65. Yikes! ‘Mum! You’re not at the top of the hill, you’re over it and half way down down the other side!’ These were the words spoken by Miss Lashes in response to some seemingly old lady remark I’d made recently … More Over the hill…..almost
The other day I stumbled upon this picture and was instantly transported back in time to my childhood era of 1970s. The children are playing an exciting and fast paced party game of Hunt the Thimble. You can see the joy on their little faces while the mother casually sits in clashing blue skirt and … More A 1970s childhood
Miss Lashes is currently home from Uni which is lovely. However it always reminds of the mental list I’ve been making for when my kids get homes of their own and I get to go and visit. Here are some of the things I’m going to do, I can’t wait! Leave empty plates, mugs and half drunk glasses … More When the kids leave home
‘Follow your dreams my wife’ ‘Cool, I dreamt I ate a whole cheesecake. Off to follow that dream’ Orkney Beef doesn’t really go in for all that inspirational one liners guff so it was pretty funny to get that text from him this morning and I couldn’t resist the reply. Apologies for the typo and poor … More What’s on your bucket list?
‘Can you take the photo standing on a step ladder for a good angle? Use a good filter and hide all my chins?’ ‘I tend to assume that for everybody, but you’d be amazed at what good lighting and a good camera can produce’ Yeah Dave but there are limits to what a fancy camera and pop … More I’m ready for my close up.
“You look bonnie” “Thank you” I replied with a smile. Orkney Beef is not always hugely forth coming with compliments so I have to grab them when I can. We were having lunch out a couple of years ago and sitting opposite one another. “You look bonnie” he said again. “Thank you!” I replied a … More Spaekin’ Orcadian
‘There are two ducks sitting outside the hen house this morning’ It’s April 1st and I was determined not to be fooled by him today. So when he woke me up with that news I was ready for him. ‘Yeah right, didn’t the ostrich eat them?’ ‘were they next to the swan?’ ‘photos or it didn’t happen?’ … More April Fool
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Because seemingly there was a square inch of garden on the other side that they hadn’t pooped on yet. Yes readers I’m now living the n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶m̶a̶r̶e̶ dream and am a fully fledged keeper of three much longed for chickens. Following one or two false starts where … More Living the dream.
Norq From Ork 