Today in America it’s Thanksgiving. It’s also the anniversary of losing my brother Simon, when he died too young 8 years ago. It was devastating, life changing and made us all wonder if we would ever smile again. So how do I marry these two things up and write a blog about thankfulness whilst still remembering a brother who died in such tragic circumstances? I don’t want to dwell on the sadness of it all; that goes without saying that we were all shocked and devastated and wondered if we would ever find our bearings again. Instead I will find things to be thankful for, and hopefully, if someone is reading this in desperation, it might just enable them to reach out and get the help and support they need.
Today I’m thankful for….
- The memories of happier times. I remember we used to lie on the floor of our sitting room in front of the tv, with our feet on the radiator to warm them up, and our heads on a cushion. We watched Laurel and Hardy films together, The Young Ones and The Blues Brothers. We could quote from all of these tv shows and films and years later, even if we hadn’t seen each other in months (he moved to America as an adult) one of us could say the first line of a quote and the other could finish it off. We argued together, we laughed together and we grew up together. In the words of my sister, we will always be Ann, Simon and Sarah.
- For all the people who loved him and spoke so highly of him at his funeral. It was a comfort to us to know that people loved him as much as we did and carried him in their hearts as we still do now.
- For people who sit on the end of helplines to support others when they are struggling. In the UK there is Samaritans, a 24 hour phone helpline for people in crisis; and I know there are crisis lines in USA and waiting to support those in need on the phone or through email or text.
- I’m thankful for a faith that carried me through such a desperate time and enabled me to help others who have been faced with the same shock and sadness.
- I’m thankful that we’re all doing ok. Life moves on, but we take him with us and think of him often.
- and I’m thankful that however dark the night, the sun still rises in the morning.
Until we meet again…..
If you are in crisis or need someone to talk to you can contact Samaritans. Click here for numbers and email addresses. (you don’t have to be suicidal to call)
In USA contact Out of The Darkness here
There is also the World Health Organisation here
16 thoughts on “Remembering Simon With Thanks”
Holidays are a time of remembrance and to remember those we have lost too soon. Hugs.
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Thank you Cathy. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving.
You are in our prayers today.
Thank you Nicola. x
Well… for a change don’t know what to write. Tears in my eyes. Struggle to find the right words. Struggle to find any words at all. I’m plus/minus your age dear Sarah. Lost my sister. Lost my mother. The season now with Xmas coming up is always the most difficult to cope with. Too many emotions. Too many memories. Lots of hugs, Arletta
I’m sorry to hear of your sister and mum Arletta. Christmas can be a tender time for many and there are other anniversaries too. I do hope you find peace and joy during this season and have much to look forward to as well. Sarah x
Just lost my reply on this…. saying your brother looks as amazing as you , I don’t think I knew about him. Your words so beautiful, meaningful and helpful.
Condolences and love, hoping to see you soon.
Sent from my iPad
Thank you Elizabeth. Would love to see you for a catch up before Christmas. Maybe December 4th? X
Sarah – thank you for the lovely words about your brother, and your positive look towards the future. Best wishes to you and yours, Graham
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Hi Graham. Thank you for your comments. I know suicide has touched your lives too and hope my experience is used to help others in some way. S
Reblogged this on Norq From Ork and commented:
Ten years ago today my brother died. I remember vividly at the time thinking ‘in ten years I’ll be remembering a ten year anniversary, and that’s a million miles away’ and now it’s here, ten years has passed in the blink of an eye, and life has gone on and my older brother is now my younger brother who died at 40. I don’t want to be too melancholy and keep going on about it. People die, life moves on. But I DO want to recognise that the nature in which he died is still happening day after day and the impact is enormous. I’m re blogging this because there are links support lines available at the bottom, and someone might need it. If you are the one, then it’s worth it.
My brother, too; it will be a year on December 8. “Life moves on, but we take him with us.” Thank you for that beautiful statement.
Louise I am so sorry to hear about your brother and fully understand what you are going through. I found the anticipation of the 1st Anniversary harder than the actual day. There is lots of help and support available and I’m here to listen if ever you want to
Message me x